I have mixed feelings about BlogHer. There are definitely “yes!!!!” moments when I feel all the awesome and think I should come back next year and bring my daughters. Unfortunately, there is also an aspect that is like the worst part of Twitter, all social media “experts” and blather about “building your brand.”

Also, I managed to place myself in an awkward position socially,1 because I’m not here with a companion but I’m not here alone either. This has left me with more than a few moments of feeling like I got invited to the party because somebody’s mom said they had to be nice and couldn’t leave me out.2

Parts of this have totally rocked, though. I have a total crush on Liz Henry3 after the Viral Explosion session and wish that I knew her in real life.4

I’ve been running in feminist rant mode all day, partially because of waking up to more Penelope Trunk idiocy, 5 and partially because of some stuff here at BlogHer, and my own internal musings about femininity as cultural Stockholm Syndrome.

  1. What is up with women wearing shoes that are clearly unsafe at any speed? I like cute shoes, too, but some of these contraptions are completely ridiculous and I can’t imagine tromping around an expo floor in them for hours. When I was a kid, my sister and I used to stick the cores from photographic paper rolls over our toes and clomp around in them for fun. I think they were more comfortable than some of the shoes I’ve seen recently.

  2. Stop apologizing for crying.7 When you are standing in front of hundreds of people talking about your child’s death, or your spouse’s cancer, or anything similar, it is perfectly understandable that you might get a little emotional. Don’t fucking apologize for it. If you are not moved by your own life, there is something seriously wrong with you. And obviously, there is something seriously wrong with a society that expects us to discuss this things in a dispassionate manner as if they happened to someone else.

I say again, if you are not moved by your own life, there is something seriously wrong with you. Stop fucking apologizing for it.

There is one round of sessions left and then some parties and then I have another day here on my own before I head back home on the long, long train. Hoping for more “fuck, yeah!” experiences than “fuck this!” today.


  1. For me. I’m an introvert.

  2. I am drinking iced chai in my room and that totally helps. Also had a really fun conversation with the woman who cleans my room. She sang the whole time she was working.

  3. Liz on Twitter and Composite

  4. She kinda reminds me of both Amanda Palmer and Rachel Maddow.

  5. No, I’m not going to link to her. I don’t want to encourage any more nonsense. I just wish she would stop presenting her personal experience as an archetype that represents all women. I think she’s embarrassing.6

  6. I am a woman and I have kids and I run a start up and I work with men and I simply cannot relate to the stupid things she says and, frankly, I wish she would shut up before she does any serious damage.

  7. I am not criticizing the individual women here, it’s the cultural/social pressure and expectation trap I’m getting at.